Amateur Azerothian

Mogger. Gold Maker. Haver Of Fun.

  • Laid Back Raids
  • Mogolympics
  • Posthumous
  • Faces Of An Amateur

Posthumous: Childhood Terrors

Posted by JD Kenada on February 12, 2013
Posted in: Fiction, Posthumous. 2 comments

He was but nine years old when Liam’s family went to Stormwind for the first time.  They had procured the services of a merchant who had docked at Southshore and made their way to the heart of the Alliance.  They enjoyed their six weeks immensely, and on the return had found another ship.  This one was traveling to Menethil Harbor, and so the Stephensons were content once more knowing they would simply have to find someone else to sail them back to Southshore.

That task proved a bit more difficult.  After four days, Liam’s father convinced a fishing trolly to make the trek.  There was promise of great pools of fish in Southshore (which was completely true), and that lit up the dwarf’s eyes enough to agree.  That and the case of bourbon Mr. Stephenson had purchased in Stormwind.

The dwarf captain was a friendly sort.  Liam found it odd that the two were nearly the same height, but then he hadn’t been outside of human settlements all that often and even in Stormwind his family had remained close to the park area.  His mother had chosen the destination and always had an affinity for magical sorts.  The Blue “something or other” it was called.

The weather could not have been better for sailing up the coastal area the dwarf referred to as the “Wetlands.”  The winds curled north of the harbor and actually had them on course for a quicker destination than anticipated.  It wasn’t until they had crossed The Drowned Reef that they ran into trouble.  A storm had made it’s way inward, whitecapping the sea and making the water incredibly rough.  The dwarf persevered and got them into a cove where they could at least take shelter.  He knew his rickety old “ship” wasn’t going to be able to withstand the elements.

When they came out of the cove the next morning, the weather was calm as most were used to.  Unfortunately, the ship accurately did not survive the storm.  Liam was the first to notice, being a young adventurous boy and early to rise.  When he woke the captain from his bourbon induced coma, the latter wasn’t all that happy.  Even less so when he saw what was left of his ship.  Fortunately for the dwarf, he wasn’t yet out of bourbon.  All was not lost.

The four spent the better part of the morning looking for the best means out of the cove.  Eventually, Mrs. Stephenson had discovered an area they would be able to traverse relatively easy to climb out of the cove.  They would just have to swim across.  It was decided they would leave the next morning.

When they finally reached the peak of the escarpment, all were relieved they at least knew where they had washed up.  The dwarf spotted Stromgarde to the west -they were in the Arathi Highlands.  The bad news was they still had several days of travel ahead of them.

***********

The first couple of days proved to be most accommodating.  The weather was fair, the breeze was comforting and even a stop to fish up some food proved most successful.  In fact, the dwarf and Liam’s father alone probably caught enough for three meals.  Well, human meals.  Man, could that sea captain eat!

It was the third day when the four of them crested a hill and could finally see Thoradin’s Wall off in the distance.  They pressed on a fair distance, inspired by the sight of the landmark that bordered the Highlands and the Hillsbrad region.  Granted, Southshore was still a few days past the wall, but it was the boost their travels needed.

Roughly an hour after they spotted the Wall, Liam found they were confronted with a smell so nauseating that it was all he could do not to vomit the fish from the night before.  The dwarf noticed it first, waving away the flies as he approached.  A raptor.  It had been dead for quite some time, and with no shade over this portion of the Highlands, had been baked quite thoroughly.  Covering their noses and mouths, the group pressed on until they were far enough that the scent was no longer noticed.  A mid-afternoon breeze helped with that task in a most timely manner.  What it also did was carry their scent.

RaptNot more than a few miles from where they had found the raptor corpse did it strike -the mate.  Liam was walking behind his parents and ahead of the captain when it leapt down upon them.  Liam’s father had pulled Mrs. Stephenson out of the way and the dwarf went to shelter the boy but was no match.  He was knocked to the ground in the split second of chaos, leaving Liam fallen back on the ground, looking up.  The raptor let out a shrill roar that froze Liam in place, terrified.  He could still remember soiling his britches.

What he couldn’t remember, was what happened in those moments.  All he recalled was the terrifying screech.  It was all he saw in his eyes while events around him transpired.  And then, they were burying the dwarf.

*******

Kheiro was calling to Liam as his thoughts returned him to the present form of that awful screech.  “We have been invited to sit before the fire for dinner.  Come Liam.”  The Tauren then proceeded to remove a bedroll and place it formally next to the fire and the Orc who appeared to have lit it.

Liam looked down at Drake.  He liked his chances just as well with his canine companion, and the Tauren as well.  But just the same, he was content to avoid that sound entirely between now and Booty Bay.

The Amazing Transmog Survivor Contest Concludes

Posted by JD Kenada on February 9, 2013
Posted in: Community, Contest, Transmogrification. 16 comments

Transmorgled

Here we are folks, as it’s decision time.  The RNG has no business here tonight and even I have no say in the voting.  I’m ok with that.  I’m sure even Pat wished he was Vanna some nights.  So let’s take a look at the final two competitors and their submissions.

Freyana

Freyana

Zazzy

Zazzy

The contestants both put in awesome and unique designs. Again, glad I didn’t have to choose a winner.  Instead, I left that in the hands of the other 15 competitors who were previously eliminated.  In the end, the final vote was 9-6.  Continue Reading

The Amazing Transmog Survivor Contest Round 3 – Build An Amateur

Posted by JD Kenada on January 29, 2013
Posted in: Community, Contest, Transmogrification. 12 comments

Transmorgled

What better time to wrap up the third round of The Amazing Transmog Survivor Contest than during maintenance?  I’m not going to waste any time this morning, as the remaining six contestants were tasked with designing an NPC of yours truly.  Let’s see what folks came up with!

Lyla

Lyla

My take on the NPC you is as a bit of fixer, a go to guy, an organiser, if  you need something, from clothes to allies he can provide or at least knows  someone who can. A little gruff on the outside, once you’ve earned his trust  he’s loyal to the bitter end. He’s suave (see the suit made from the finest  Panderen silks) but also dangerous (eye patch and stave which isn’t just for  decoration but clubbing bandits over the head). He can be found travelling the  highways and byways with his lovely lady Wife, a charming Pandaren who sells the  finest teas on the continent.

Rhuanious

Rhuanious

What immediately came to mind, beyond mogging and the bit of AH-ing you do, is LBR. And if you run your Laid Back Raid nights, you are a fight coordinator. Fight Coordinators need to be badass to deal with pissed off people if something goes wrong (not that it does ^.^). If blood elves could be druids you would be carrying a book (ledger) to record the fights :)

Katami

Katami

For the third round I’ve chosen to make you a keeper of time. This because I’ve first found your blog when you were writing about the laid back raids.  Those are, of course, always a step back in time, so what better than a bronze dragon. :)

Freyana

Freyana

When I saw the challenge, I instantly knew I wanted to pay tribute to the Laid-Back Raids.  I decided to make my transmog outfit entirely out of gear from raids (drops, tier tokens, or JP-bought tier gear).  As a fellow player of a Sunwalker, I decided to use Saintvache as a model (as best as I could recreate him, anyway).  I thought “Kenada” was a great tauren name, so I took my naming inspiration from the ways Blizz has named tribute NPCs in the past and came up with “Kenada the Amateur”.  I imagine him standing with the other Sunwalkers in Thunder Bluff, chatting about the best-dressed tauren in town.

Euphyley

Zazzy

I’ve always seen you as a tauren, this could be due to your avatar at  WordPress. After reading the chapters of the text “Posthumous” I also  consider him an author. So I wanted to do a tauren scribe.

As an NPC JD Kenada the Scribe is traveler you can run in to while  adventureing in Azeroth. He travles through the land to get inspiration  for the great epic he is writing. He is neutral to all but do not  underestimate him. If attacked he will defend himself with his pencil  shapener and most likely hit you over the head with the heafty book he  carries with him. As with all taurens there is also the risk of getting  stomped.

Euphyley

Euphyley

I figured goblin suited you because they seem a little shifty to me (something shifty only seemed to fit given the evil nature of this round). So anyway I figured being pretty much the king of transmog contests that your npc should be dressed good, so I totally pimped him out. This goblin is stylin’ and ready to judge some outfits! Oh, and to add a little bit of badassness to the look (cause we all know your a little badass) I threw in some brass knuckles so nobody would mess with ya!

Ok, so as you can see I’m within my rights to take an extra day or so just to try to figure out which one deserves immunity.  If it was based purely on explanation, man Euphyley wins hands down because I howled at the whole thing.  Zazzy isn’t too far off on the idea of me carrying a book and belting someone over the head with it.  A good portion of trade comes to mind…
Now, if Blizz called me up one day and said “hey, we put you in the game,” I would be rather humbled and excited.  If they told me it was as a Blood Elf, I would be disappointed.  Next to a plain old human, the race doesn’t do anything for me.  However, both entries as one were pretty impressive just the same.  I’ve always said I would make me a Goblin if I had the power, because it seemed most fitting, and well we all know what I think of the best race in the game *cough* Tauren. *cough*
In the end, I went with the outfit that took a piece of gear I probably wouldn’t touch and turned it into something sharp and unique.  As such, Zazzy has been awarded immunity from elimination and is one of the two finalists!  I can say truthfully that every single outfit impressed me and this was the hardest round.  So glad I don’t have to pick a final winner!
The bad news, is that means we have 5 remaining contestants…but only one spot open.  If this were a live show, we’d do the old one by one elimination process.  Well, it’s not.  So instead, the RNG will choose who is moving on….and it has chosen Freyana!
That means Freyana and Zazzy get to duel it out in the finals, with the winner chosen by our previously departed contestants.  Once I’ve received an entry from both, I will e-mail the others to vote for which one they prefer and when the votes are in, the results will be up.  Now, as this is the final round and you no doubt want a fair opportunity to “shake your little tush on the catwalk,” it only seems right that all restrictions are off in terms of requirement.  You must still create an end-game transmog, but the design is completely freestyle.  Create an outfit based on whatever you like.  The only catch being you have until this Sunday (EST) to get it in to me.
Best of luck to the finalists!

Twilight Drakes Gleaming

Posted by JD Kenada on January 28, 2013
Posted in: Community, Mount, Raiding. 15 comments

From Tome of the Ancient

With my plans thoroughly set in stone for last night, I did my best to get into Azeroth for a few hours before in order to follow up on an idea I had Saturday night.  I had asked folks about doing two OS25 runs for Tyledres and Magik so they could get their Twilight Drake mount.  Well, when time came, we ended up starting out with two runs alright, one for Magik and one for my other guildmate Grexinimi.  Tyledres wasn’t on at the time.  So, sent out the word and we had a group of about eight people, including Tome and Repgrind.

Grex got the mount on the first run and it was about this time Magik thought he was absolutely cursed based on the number of times he has been in there and never gotten it.  Well, the second run shut him up (and I was genuinely happy for him).  It was about this time Tyledres logged on, so that left her, Tome, and the Grown-Up Gamer himself as in need.  A friend of mine, Cain, joined in at this point as well.  We burned it down in no time at all and sure enough, I got to see Tome’s new mount as we waited to start summoning the next batch of alts.

I only have three alliance alts above 80, so my help for the night had finished up.  It was coincidentally close to 8 at this point and I had other plans in mind anyway.  I know there was one more run, but I haven’t heard who got the fourth mount.  It’s funny the reaction many of us bloggers get, or even friends get, when others find out we don’t have the mount yet.  It just goes that way.

I mean, until I actually checked last night, who would’ve thought the AMATEUR doesn’t actually have the mount?  Oh, and no, I didn’t roll on it last night either.  The night was about helping others.  I’ll get mine in due time.

Saturday Night’s Alright For Yoggin…

Posted by JD Kenada on January 27, 2013
Posted in: Achievements, Gear, Hunter, Liouxpold, Raiding, Reputation, Transmogrification, Ulduar. 7 comments

I won’t lie.  For selfish reasons, this weekend and next I scheduled Laid Back Raids for Saturday night and I never know how that is going to turn out.  Some folks have plans and some simply don’t notice.  With Algalon on the schedule for the Alliance last night, I knew for sure that Healblade was out. After that was a crap shoot

We ended up with about seven of us, eight when Zwingli was able to join us early on and then again for the final two bosses.  In 10-man, that was serious zerg.  Well, except for the fact that I wanted an awesome screenshot of Algalon, but instead targeted him and interrupted his little constellation speech.  We wiped when I think he removed the entire floor.  No fight, just more of a “how dare you” as we all died.  So we regrouped and hoped that didn’t happen again.  Well, us Claws of Nature folk…despite “thinking” we were within the platform for the fight, were in fact not.  But at least I got to watch them whoop the star-crossed boss.

Alg

I think if you look close you can see Repgrind’s Mage getting off a spell.  I can’t remember if we still had two alive at that point…I know Magik was dead beside me.  I was fine with dying, but disappointed I didn’t get the shoulders to complete Liouxpold’s current transmog.  However, I did win the roll for Avalanche when it dropped from Hodir. It would seem after years of being a crossbow only guy, Liouxpold is turning into quite the bow collector.  Which is probably good.  Man did I get heckled on his behalf last night.  No Guild Page, not Exalted with my own guild, no Cold Weather Flying, “Turn off aspect of the pack,”"turn it off again please”…yeesh, it was never ending!

The good news was that we rolled on and I had forgotten Magik had never finished Ulduar, in fact Cat Lady was as far as he had gotten (back when it was current).  So to be able to show him the whole place was great.  To be able to down Yogg-Saron at the end was perfect as well.

Innismouth

Also during the raid, Magik, Mrs, and myself got a pleasant surprise as one of our other guildies (Grexinimi) was on and kinda doing his own thing…

UN

So, needless to say when the raid was over…Magik went straight to Stormwind, while Mrs. and I switched to toons that were Exalted with the guild and we were all proud owners of Dark Phoenix pets.  Magik and I captured the moment…that prissy Hunter Naeda was too good for us, I guess.

DP

Zee Allure Of Zee Crimson Shale

Posted by JD Kenada on January 22, 2013
Posted in: Non-Combat Pets, Pet Battles. 5 comments

So, zer he was, zee beast of a Tauren.  Zee one we call…Saintvache.  Or, as zee French say…Saintvache.  He wen down into zee Deep-olm for da Aeonaxx…but she was not zer.  So he took to zee pet battling, to capture some of zose elusive creatures.

I wish I could keep it going, but it’s losing the Jacques Cousteau luster fast.

As I was saying, no Aeonaxx (after checking for Minfernals on three servers of course) left me deciding to get some of the Deepholm pets because I hadn’t bothered yet.  I figured I would capture whatever Uncommon or better ones I came across to get my stable boosted.  First battle?  Rare Crimson Shale Hatchling.  Sweet!  It was the second pet in the fight.

Second fight…Rare Crimson Shale Hatchling.  In fact, the configuration was identical to the first.

Third fight.  Rare.  Crimson.  Shale.  Hatchling.  This one at least had one pet different.

Crimson

Fourth fight…Crystal Beetle.  Nice, don’t have one.  Second pet is ONCE AGAIN A RARE CRIMSON SHALE HATCHLING.  Four fights in a row, while the other pets are poor quality or common.

Finally on the fifth fight, there was no Shale Hatchling to be found.

Sixth fight THERE IT WAS AGAIN!

I decided it was time to make some lunch…and to possibly name one of them Redrum.

4th And Repgrind…

Posted by JD Kenada on January 20, 2013
Posted in: Community, Mount, Raiding. 14 comments

Rep25

There’s the latest Laid Back Raid crew, sort of.  That was the third run of the night and after we were done the schedule Horde-side Sanctums.  I found out Repgrind still needed the OS-25 mount and after not landing it Horde side I felt it my friendly duty to get it.  I should mention Kamalia got hers when everything came up Kamalia in the Horde run.  Heh.  So, we all jumped to blue and yellow after knocking off Halion and made sure Repgrind got one as well.  Sarth was absent from the group photo because the bear had an itchy skinning finger…

Not a bad way to celebrate one’s fourth blogging anniversary.  I would have to go back and check, but it’s not the anniversary of my first post I know that.  However, WordPress was kind enough to tell me that I created my account on this day in 2009.  It sucks because I had been hoping to do another contest to celebrate but I thought it was another month away!  So yeah, in the meantime…have some cake.

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