Sometimes, You Get What You Need

“Sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.” It’s so true.  What I wanted, was to walk away from World of Warcraft.  Focus on other things, many of which I outlined when I announced my pending exodus.  The plan, then, was to do a Horde raid (Karazhan) and an Alliance raid (Icecrown Citadel) as I rode off into the sunset.

Bloggers, Guildies, and fun. Oh my!

If you’ve read the Amateur for any length of time, you’ll know I’m always honest about things.  Right or wrong, that’s one thing you can come to expect.  So, there shouldn’t be much surprise when I had reservations about doing this tonight.

You know you’re an idiot, right?  If this works out to the potential it has on paper, this farewell party will be like feeding a wolf steak and expecting him to go vegan the next day.

I wrote that on Thursday.  Just a note to myself.  But, I’m a pretty strongwilled individual.  I wanted to do this and knew how much fun I would have.  What better way to say goodbye?  Even made it through the Karazhan run, no problem.  Put my son to bed and it was time to visit Arthas.  We got to the twins and there was that voice in the back of my head.  Not Arthas’ whisper, just that little voice in my head telling me something.  Tonight did deliver on the potential, and for that I was happy.

But then we went a little further.  We had a part wipe on Sindragosa when it really clicked.  I’ve found what I wanted out of the game all along.  The people, the activity, the attitudes.  Just everything.  After burning out trying to make it happen in my guild, it was from outstretched hands of friends and bloggers.  It only stands to reason, “birds of a feather” and all.  But I still was focused.

Even with these great people, my schedule just doesn’t allow for much WoW time.  I think I’ve illustrated that rather well.  And you know what?  Maybe it was just because everyone wanted me to have an amazing sendoff.  Then the person I knew would say something did.  He’s a kind and generous fellow who, like myself, treats his friends well and with something important to him will do what he can to make sure it continues.  In other words, a cup of coffee a day to keep a buddy playing WoW whenever they can is more than worth it.  I actually declined.  I’m a humble person and my pride runs thick.  I couldn’t do it.

Then we wiped on Arthas.  No one complained.  It was more “so that’s what defile is.”  We never once looked at meters.  We laughed.  We had a great time.  There was zero pressure and everyone loved it.  So, we went back in and down he went.

High on awesomesauce

So, we celebrated.  Wouldn’t you know it, Halion dropped.  The Staff of Forgotten Love.  In pure symbolism, I not only got the staff I wanted for Transmogrfication for Tumunzahar, but tonight I was brought faced to face with what I love about WoW.  And, yeah, I had forgotten.  Forgotten that I wasn’t the only one who could have fun for the sake of fun.  Forgotten how you can make the most of your time.  Forgotten how people understand.  I was also overwhelmed with the feeling that people deep down wanted me to stay.  A few jokes were made, but they conveyed the truth.  We found something tonight that was pretty special and they wanted me a part of it.  Even before tonight, but it was made clear in the group we had.

So before we called it quits…I grew a set and swallowed my pride.  I explained much of how I felt. I talked about the fact this amazing sendoff that was put together made it hard for me even if I wanted to come back.  I had this unsubstantiated fear of coming across as false, or an attention seeker.  But most of all, I realized my last line of defense (financial) had been breached.  But, there was no way I was going to take the step without talking to the people that put this night together first.  I also had to be sure everyone understood where I was coming from.

That idea is going down in flames...

The folks I felt a part of had to understand that as excited as I was, I am focused on everything I wrote two weeks ago.  That’s me.  Who I am and who I want to be.  But the laughter, excitement, and fun of tonight?  The specific individuals who made it that way?  Well, turns out that’s the kind of thing a person needs.  That’s how we get by in this crazy world.  We take a break from the trials and tribulations of life and relax.  We do it with friends.

So it would seem I’m not leaving after all.

I accepted the generous offer of Cheetahdave for a 60 day time-card.  I agreed we need to turn tonight into something moderately regular.  Everyone was incredibly happy.  That was important for me because I didn’t want to come across as going against my word so to speak.  My word is incredibly important to me.  As the saying goes though, when life hands you lemons you make lemon-aid (or screwdrivers).  Well, I found a pretty amazing lemon-aid stand.  I don’t feel obligated to try to be on.  It’s more like, drop in when I can.  When someone does what they can to allow you to take part in something with them, at your convenience, it’s hard to say no.  More importantly, when you realize why they’re doing it and why they’re asking you to be a part of it, it’s an amazing feeling.  You don’t even know it until it happens.  Then you come to understand that just maybe it’s what you needed all along.

"We're here for a good time, not a long time..."

35 thoughts on “Sometimes, You Get What You Need

  1. mataokashaman April 28, 2012 / 11:33 pm

    Beautiful!

    Be on the lookout for the other glass slipper.

    • JD Kenada April 28, 2012 / 11:38 pm

      I think it’s on your foot.

  2. Navimie April 28, 2012 / 11:53 pm

    Well, I did wonder about that cryptic comment you left on my blog. Coming here and reading it, i now know what it meant. I am pleased that you found something you weren’t even looking for – those are the best presents. And I’m not talking about the staff.

    This post, your words, makes me feel so glad, and so proud, to be part of your decision, and to be counted as someone you called a friend.

    • JD Kenada April 29, 2012 / 5:18 am

      Of course I do Nav!

      I thought I was ready to walk away, and the truth is I probably could, but as I said to khizzara we seem to have found something special. Despite being the kind of person who would do the same thing everyone did do, I felt it right to choose not to play WoW in order to focus on those important things. However, getting away to Azeroth when I have the chance is important for balance.

  3. missescake April 29, 2012 / 1:23 am

    Excellent post. Congrats on finding what you needed to find, completely unlooked-for. I’ve had much the same experience with my guild; if it wasn’t for the good people I’ve met in and because of the game, I’d’ve surely quit long ago as well.

    Quick apology that I couldn’t make it out. Had to take advantage of the good weather and get my grandma’s yardwork done, plus coaching my daughter’s soccer game left me with a tiny window to sleep before work.

    But, since you’ll be sticking around for at least the next two months, hopefully I can tag along with you all for a run sometime. Feel free to add me if there’s still room on your friends list, zacharyhair at aol.

    • JD Kenada April 29, 2012 / 5:14 am

      As someone who will be doing those kinds of things as well, I completely understand. Will certainly be adding you.

      I think it comes down to people just saying “come by when you can” that makes it easier for me to continue/return. As usual, no one made me feel obligated but I failed to realize what times I am able to make it on are better than not being on at all.

    • JD Kenada May 15, 2012 / 10:47 pm

      I just realized tonight that I never added you. I am so terribly sorry for that and just sent a Real ID request moments ago.

  4. The Godmother (@AlternativeChat) April 29, 2012 / 4:37 am

    Sometimes it is a long journey to discover what you really wanted was on your own doorstep. Dorothy Gale was a wise young woman 😀

    Needless to say, this is how my WoW life has run for the best part of five years: it is not a job, a career, an obligation or even a pursuit, it is what YOU need it to be and it all rotates around the people that make it something more than just a game. I’ve seen people leave and return more times than I care to remember, and now I understand that for some, this is another home, a place you can come and be welcomed by friends regardless of your time away.

    I hope one day I might get to meet you US guys in game, and the AU ones too, and indeed anyone I find in my travels who has as much compassion, humour and life as you do. Until then, the Blog remains, and that is good enough.

    Welcome back, J. 😀

    • JD Kenada April 29, 2012 / 5:11 am

      Thanks for the kind words and wise words alike.

  5. Erinys April 29, 2012 / 9:15 am

    Welcome back 🙂

    Your post sums up the good things about all friendships, regardless of whether they’re created on-line or not. It sounds like your night was fabulous and it’s times like these, I wish the servers weren’t limited by region.

    • JD Kenada April 29, 2012 / 9:28 am

      Yeah, me too.

      Thanks.

  6. tomeoftheancient April 29, 2012 / 9:17 am

    WoW 2006 – 2012, best time ever. And it was like the stars were aligned just right. On the last roll I thought I should greed on something and imagine my horror when I saw it was something you wanted!

    I just smiled when you got it. Just perfect end to perfect night. Then I took my contacts out and drank wine and ate Oreos. Life doesn’t get any better, lol.

    Thanks for having me JD and welcome back!

    • JD Kenada April 29, 2012 / 9:30 am

      Wine and oreos would give me mad gutrot. It really was amazin’.

      No worries about EVER rolling against me. My wife was there on her Mage so she and I were knocking rolls all night. lol

    • missescake April 29, 2012 / 11:09 am

      Wine and Oreos, /shudder!

      Actually…… Red or white?

      • tomeoftheancient April 29, 2012 / 11:13 am

        Red! It’s amazing I was able to sleep without having nightmares!

      • JD Kenada April 29, 2012 / 11:26 am

        (facepalm)

        Raiders of the Lushed Ark?

  7. euphyley April 29, 2012 / 9:25 am

    Matty hit it right on the nose…Beautiful post.

    • JD Kenada April 29, 2012 / 9:30 am

      *blush*

  8. khizzara April 29, 2012 / 12:08 pm

    This post is beautifully well stated, and I’m really glad you decided to stay.

    As I said last night, I feel incredibly honored to have been a part of this. I feel like I didn’t entirely deserve to be there, since we haven’t known each other very long, and it was a big send-off with all your close friends. But I’m glad I was included and able to help make it a successful event.

    The whole evening was so much fun. It was totally awesome to be able to meet people “in person” — especially to see them wearing some of the transmog sets I’ve seen in screenshots! And new friendships were forged, so I hope we get to do this again in future.

    Thank you so much for including me. 😀

  9. Shoryl April 29, 2012 / 12:14 pm

    Oh, JD! I’m so glad you’re staying, and I get to have a chance at the honor of running with you as well as this great group of people. I was sooooo sad I couldn’t make last night because of the emergency that came up for me. (And I reiterate, for those who may have heard – Dad’s fine, it was a complication of old-man-disease that should correct itself)

    I’ve only known you for a few short weeks (I discovered your blog thanks to Mog Madness) and yet, I already know that this was absolutely not an attention-getting stunt. It’s very obvious you care deeply for being a good father; but also that you love Azeroth.

    • JD Kenada May 15, 2012 / 8:16 pm

      Just came back to this post tonight and realized I never commented back to you. I appreciate these words incredibly and am glad we’ve done a few things since. Most importantly, just glad your dad was ok.

  10. kamaliaetalia April 29, 2012 / 1:20 pm

    The Kara run was lots of fun, JD. I’m glad that I decided to come along! I’m glad that the evening restored the social fun aspect of WoW for you 🙂

    • JD Kenada April 29, 2012 / 2:01 pm

      I was so glad you made it. I realized a few minutes in that you weren’t actually signed up to go. Couldn’t figure out where the extra body came from, but it worked out as Mrs. Amateur had to bath the little guy.

  11. Töki May 1, 2012 / 2:34 am

    Everyone has already worded everything so beautifully, so let me just say: yay!

    • JD Kenada May 1, 2012 / 6:18 am

      Thanks 😉

  12. Zellviren May 1, 2012 / 5:15 am

    You, sir, make me happy. When I left WoW earlier this year, it caused something of a stir because of the way I chose to do it. Yet, amazingly, I ran across much the same epiphany that you did.

    The game remains great when you don’t subject yourself to things you don’t need to.

    Thanks for the post. 🙂

    • JD Kenada May 1, 2012 / 6:18 am

      Thanks for the kind words of wisdom.

  13. Magik May 5, 2012 / 8:26 am

    Freaking quit already!! Just kidding mate always glad when you’re around…

    • JD Kenada May 5, 2012 / 8:44 am

      You…you commented on my blog?

      …did hell just freeze over???

      Thanks for the kind words bud. 😉

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