Mogolympics – Hammer Throw Live!

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen!  It is I, your humble servant Elcombe once more.  I’m live just outside of Ratchet, as we get set for the Hammer Throw.  We’re here along the Southfury River and you can see that officials are set up.  I’m told the contestants are warming up and we’ll take this moment to go over the rules.  Each entrant will have just one hammer to heave as far as possible.  The cliffside and river are the vertical boundaries.  Orc judge Logard will ensure the participants do not go past the start line, set out with the two coloured beacons.  I’m told he’ll also determine distance, though I have to wonder how long this will take with him running out and measuring each one.  What’s that?  He’s a hunter?  Nevermind that last part then…looks like our first participant is stepping up!

Our first competitor is a Troll up on behalf of Therazane.  He positions.  Arms extended….and if that isn’t the most interesting whirlwind of a wind up…and release!  Logard eyes it up….357 metres!  Sweet merciful Illidan!  What an opening throw.  The crowd is echoing my sentiments ladies and gentlemen.

Well, apparently they aren’t giving us but a moment to catch our breath as the next entry is up.  Hrm, well, I will reserve my judgement on what I think of that cooked up bunch the Scarlet Crusade is and instead focus on what their representative does here.  The Tauren lady takes the mace in one arm!  How is she?  Oh my, what a toss!  364 metres!  As if I wasn’t in awe of the first thrower, this one comes out and beats the mark!    

As the first of Thrallmar’s two competitors steps up, I can’t help but wonder just how high we’re going to go this afternoon.  Ah, one of my fellow humans.  Behold, true power.  He steps back, begins his approach, and lets the hammer fly!….337 says Logard.  Hrm, looked like the sun got in his eye during release.

Ok, I’m not going to lie.  This next fellow scares the Molten Core out of me!  Look at this behemoth of a…wait, Draenei?  But is says Orgrimmar on my sheet.  You know what?  I’m not about to argue with him about it.   He goes for an over the shoulder heave…and the judge says it landed at an even 350 metres.  That puts him in the bronze position in this early going.

What the?  Um, again, my sheet says Honor Hold…but is that a Panda bear???  Seriously, Arthas as my witness ladies and gentlemen a Panda is wielding a hammer here and stepping up.  Oh, there was another Panda in the Cycling?  Are we being invaded?  Something I should know?  They’re friendly and called Pandaren? Good to know.  Well folks, this Madame Pandaren looks ready to throw…and released…hrm, looks close to the Orgrimmar toss.  Yes indeed, Logard confirms she’s landed a metre ahead, at 351.  Wouldn’t want to have to tell him, but congratulations to our new Pandaren friend just the same on her excellent toss.

Ah, another Human competitor!  This lady comes in on behalf of the Stormpike.  Good dwarves, that lot.  Excellent judge of character.  She’s a lefty, the wind might play to her favour as such.  She’s using the whirlwind approach we from our first entry…and as it lands I have to say that looks to be the strategy today.  Yes, Logard is confirming what my amateur eye tells me, as her throw travelled 355 metres.  Just shy of the Troll and now the mark to beat if anyone’s going to want a medal today.

Our second female Tauren is just picking up the hammer.  This one represents the Frostwolves.  I’d like to note she and the Stormpike representative kept things civil.  Good to see at these games!  She lines up her arms, rears back and lets it fly…and good lord did that travel!  362 metres???  What do these Tauren eat???  My goodness, a heck of a toss and just two metres shy of first placem currently held by her fellow Tauren of the Scarlet Crusade.  The Frostwolves will be happy with that one!

The Exodar have their first competitor stepping up to the line now.  A…Blood….Elf…?  Okay, you know what?  I’m going to stop asking and just roll with it.  So, the lady steps up?  What, a man?  Sure, if you say so…he steps up to the line and…oooh, he’s holding his wrist after that toss.  Looks like he might have hurt something.  Logard signals 327 metres on that throw.  Far further than I could ever throw and still a great showing on his part.

Ah, Stormwind’s up.  You’ll pardon me for being just a smidge bias on this one.  Again, not even questioning the Troll that’s representing us.  I have complete faith in our team.  The southpaw charges the line and lets go an excellent toss, and it comes in at 344 metres.  Solid throw, but not enough to crack the top three behemoths thus far.

Well, the Tauren have been successful in the early goings of this event and now the city of Thunder Bluff sends its representative to the line.  She rears back and it’s a good solid throw…hrm, the wind seems to have caught it unfortunately.  Such is the price of an outdoor event, I suppose.  Logard is marking it as 335 metres.

And now we have the Lower City representative.  So far they have the games’ lone gold medal.  He’s no doubt looking to continue their success as he steps to the line with what looks like a fishing pole style over the shoulder warm up.  Nope, that’s his throw…and what a throw!  Even from up here I can tell you it passed the previous marks…yes indeed Logard says 374 metres!!!  My goodness what a toss and Lower City again finds themselves in first place.  Wow!

Here’s my first look at the Aldor, as their dwarf gets a firm grip on the hammer.  Bit of controversy you no doubt heard about by now involving the Aldors, glad to see that was sorted out.  Despite all that, the dwarf looks focused as he unleashes his toss…357 metres says our judge.  Places them alongside Therazane, but not in the top three.

Another Draenei steps up, this time on behalf of the Kurenai.  Big fellow that one.  No doubt looking to duplicate the success of the Draenei from Lower City.  This fellow seems ready, and using a whirlwind delivery…oh my, ladies and gentlemen!  He’s very close to the Lower City mark.  And he has passed it!  376 metres.  They just keep launching them!  I barely know what to say anymore!

Another Draenei is stepping up, this one a lovely lady from Hellscream’s Reach.  If you’re just joining us, a whopping 364 metres or better is needed to be in medal contention.  Let’s see what the lady has to offer…good toss, and it comes in a bit shy at 353 metres.  A solid throw and representation, just a very tough field today.

Stepping up to throw now we have the second competitor on behalf of Thrallmar.  Our first Night Elf as well, if I’m not mistaken.  She wastes no time with her wind up and release…a solid throw, and Logard is saying 363 metres.  I’m amazed at what I’m seeing here today, even from those not in the medal running.  Just phenomenal displays on the field!

There’s a mammoth of a dwarf picking up a hammer now.  Looking at my sheet, this is the first competitor Wyrmrest Accord has entered into the competition.  The southpaw steps up and unleashes a solid toss, that looks to have come in just behind his predecessor.  The score is 356 metres.  Probably held back a touch, didn’t want to reveal he’s a dragon!

You know, I recall Night Elves being elegant and friendly and this lady looks nothing like that. Representing the Bilgewater Cartel, according to my notes.  Looks like money well spent by the Cartel, if you catch my drift.  Let’s see how she does…it lands and comes in at 348 metres.  I remember a time folks when 300 metres was considered good.  That tells you we truly have the best of the best out here today when that number is just an afterthought.

Up next we have an Troll taking the hammer.  She’s here this afternoon representing Undercity.  A solid stance and grip she’s got there.  Did she just bite the head of the hammer for luck?  No matter…there it goes…and…and…folks, I don’t believe it.  I do not believe it.  That is easily our farthest toss today.  Indeed, Logard confirms what I’ve said as this phenomenal woman comes in ten metres past the best mark of the day at 386 metres!!!

As Wyrmrest Accord’s second entry steps up I’m still in disbelief of our previous thrower.  Thanks to her amazing toss, the remaining contestants need at least 374 to reach the podium and another dozen metres for gold!  This Blood Elf doesn’t look bothered though as she steps to the line.  She lets go a fine throw of her own, and Logard says the hammer came down at 348 metres.  Again, ladies and gentleman, I would have expected that to be a gold medal score under normal circumstances, but today is certainly not “normal circumstances.”

Warsong Hold will now be watching as its representative takes to the pitch.  The Draenei gentleman no doubt looking to put himself up alongside the ones from Lower City and The Kurenai in the current medal running.  His throw is a solid one, and Logard’s marking it just ahead of the Wyrmrest effort at 349 metres.

Ah, another Human entry, this one representing our Night Elf friends of Darnassus.  He’s going with the old spit in the gloves for grip tactic, let’s see how that one pays off.  Good release.  Solid distance on that one.  Hrm, he definitely got a good throw off but will it be enough to crack the top three?  No, our Orc judge has him at 372 metres.  Just two shy of Lower City and the current bronze medal position.

Up next, the Dragonmaw Clan.  You know, this is a moment I’m glad I’m a safe distance away.  The gaze coming from inside that helm could probably kill me alone.  She shifts that look down the field as she stretches her arms out.  She swings…and let’s go…another good toss.  Hrm, looks like this one came up a bit behind the previous toss.  363 metres according to Logard.  A great toss, but not enough for the podium at this stage.

Another lady steps up to give it a go, this one from Gilneas.  Again, a whopping 386 metres is the mark for gold and there’s not even much leeway for silver or bronze.  She releases, and seems a little dejected as Logard tells her 344 metres.  Personally, I’d love to have thrown it as far as she did.  Phenomenal toss, but this year’s Hammer Toss is just an exceptional class of its own.

I will have to recheck my notes, but I believe we have our first female Dwarf of the competition.  She’s coming to us on behalf of the Silverwing Sentinels who continue to do the Alliance proud in the everlong battle of Warsong Gulch.  You know I put in some time there once.  My superiors said I didn’t follow direction well and that I gave orders that would’ve gotten people killed.  Bah, what do they know.  Look where I am now!  Now then, our Dwarf here looks ready and she delivers a solid toss that Logard is marking at 367 metres.  I remember at the start when I was in awe of 357, and I’m still in awe of 367…

Up next we have the Gnomeregan representative and I have to think it was a wise decision not having one of their own compete today.  I have nothing against the Gnomes, I just think one would come up rather short in today’s field.  Yes, ignoring my attempt at humour, let’s see what this lady does with her throw…as it comes down a bit behind the previous athlete and the judge scores it officially as 356 metres.

Another Blood Elf gentleman is stepping up to the line and my notes show this fellow coming to the event representing Ramakhen.  He seems a little tight in posture as he grabs the hammer.  Still, the attempt looks good.  Hrm, yes, 334 metres is the score.  He looks a bit disappointed in the throw but I would still consider it a world class performance.  Hold your head up high, sir.  Yes, even though you’re a Blood Elf I say be proud.  You and every entry today.

The Consortium have their athlete up next.  Who would win in a bidding war, The Consortium or The Goblins?  Something to think about as our lady dwarf let’s the hammer hang in her arms as she stretches a bit.  She looks ready and is going with the whirlwind we’ve seen a few times today.  She releases and it comes down a bit past the last toss…343 metres says our judge.

She’s being followed by another dwarf lady…this one is here all the way from Shadowmoon Valley and The Illidari.  She isn’t taking her sweet time by any stretch as I barely introduced her and the hammer was released!  339 metres is where it’s being marked.  I think the wind is starting to play a bit of havoc on the contestants.  I suppose that’s the way these things go, as sometimes your attempt time can be a benefit or a detriment.

We’ll see if a Tauren has better luck in these conditions, as this Mag’har champion will look to find success with the hammer.  He leans back and lets it go with a mighty roar, and it’s gone a bit further than the last few.  Yes, Logard is signalling 347 metres.  A solid showing given the conditions.

He’s followed by a Tauren woman who seems to be observing the wind.  No doubt she’s hoping it’s dying down a bit to allow for a better chance of success for her and The Exodar.  Hey, if you’re just joining us and wondering about a Tauren and the Exodar…well, I agreed to just read my notes a long time ago and instead enjoy the spirit of competition.  Speaking of which, she’s let go a solid throw.  It’s come down at 356 metres according to the judge.  Excellent toss, but a bit shy of the podium on this day.

A Worgen is stepping to the line now, on behalf of Ironforge.  He looks pretty comfortable wielding that hammer.   He backs from the line…charges…and a great overhead release!  I think it got a bit too much height, though, as the wind seems to have caught it and according to the judge it’s brought down at 346 metres.

And you’ll have to pardon me again as I get a little partisan cheer in me.  The dwarf you see about to throw is going to do so as a representative of Stormwind today.  Oooh, he got a good throw off.  They’re scoring it at 363 metres!  Great showing there!  I’m sure if he had thrown earlier when the air was calm, that would be your gold medallist right there!

Speaking of which, our current leader remains Undercity after that whopping 386 metre toss!  The Kurenai sits second at 376 metres, and Lower City is just behind at 374.  With that in mind, let’s see what this Worgen fellow can do for the Argent Dawn.  He went with the horizontal release and seemed to have put a bit of an upswing on it near the end…and it may have paid off for him.  I’m going to have to wait to hear where they mark it, but this one is close…374 metres!  That puts him in a current tie for the bronze medal with about a dozen competitors left!

Stepping up now in the bronze colours of the Keepers of Time is one of my Human compatriots.  The Bronze Dragonflight are no doubt watching from the Caverns of Time, cheering him on…presuming they’ve not gone back and ensured he’s already won…what, it’s entirely possible!  Don’t look at me like that!  Well, folks, perhaps I was a bit hasty in that theory, as he got off a solid throw of 364 metres, but one that isn’t quite enough on this day.

Our dwarven friend here will now see what he can do.  He’s here competing for the Sunreavers…okay, you know, even my suspension of disbelief has to draw a line somewhere and we’re getting pretty darn close to it!  Getting back to our current athlete, though, he’s just released the hammer and it’s got some weight to it.  Hrm, nope.  Logard says 358 metres.  Looked a bit further than that from up here, but he is the judge and knows better than this Mage does.

Sporeggar sees its first of two entrants stepping up and it looks like my theory on Gnomes and this event are about to be put to the test, ladies and gentlemen.  She means business this one, stepping to the line and giving a firm throw.  Damn, she actually got some distance to it…I mean, um…yes, fine, a great toss by the Gnome!  Okay, even I’m going to call for Logard to clean his eyes after that one.  He’s saying 355 metres.

Fortunately the Sporeggarians…Sporegans….Sporks…Spaniards…you know what, I’m just letting the Tauren woman throw.  If she does well, Sporeggar will rejoice.  And there is the throw…looks solid.  She got a bit more distance than her teammate, but is it enough?  Logard says it is.  374 metres and we now have three competitors tied for bronze.  And you thought three silver medalists in cycling was a big deal!

Well, the top spot is currently held by our only other female Orc thus far, from Undercity.  Perhaps this one can join her, or even top that mark, for Silvermoon City?  She charges the line and an incredible torque on that overhead throw.  The mace goes head over end repeatedly before coming down hard.  360 metres says Logard.  A valiant effort for Silvermoon City.

Up next is the Kirin Tor.  Her teammate was one of the silver medalists in Cycling and she’s no doubt trying for the same.  I have to say, I think this one’s in a bit tougher of a competition at this point.   She seems to not be fretting as she grabs the hammer.  A good throw, but she’s looking to the sky…hrm, yes, the wind picked up at the wrong time for her.  The hammer comes down and 339 says Logard.

The woman stepping up next seems determined to make her mark.  She even seemed to curse at the wind a bit as she grabbed her hammer.  The lefty rears back, a three-sixty, and release…hrm, I think we might have another close one.  Looking close it might have come up a bit short though.  No!  Logard says 374 metres for the Silver Covenant athlete!  That’s, what, four bronze winners if things hold up over the final six entries!

If you’ll permit me, ladies and gentlemen, the next contestant is a beautiful woman.  My notes suggest this Blood Elf enters the competition on behalf of the Darkspear Trolls, but I feel as if I’ve already won.  Perhaps she is single?  I could cheer her up, comfort her, should she come up short on this throw…Logard measures.  377 metres!  Sonofa…it’s like she heard me.  Oh well, perhaps our moment of console can now become one of celebration!  A phenomenal throw by our Darkspear entry.  *sigh* Yes, I suppose I can stay for the remaining contestants.  Pffft….”job.”

…where are we now?  Ah, yes.  The second, and final, competitor on behalf of Darnassus.  Can this Tauren surpass the first representative?  They’re going to have to if Darnassus wants to get to the podium here this afternoon.  He throws….and it takes off well before coming down around…Logard marks it as 360.  Great effort there against an incredibly strong field.  So we’re down to our last five competitors…

…the first of which is a Tauren woman.  Here to try to capture a medal for the Defilers, this tall athlete will have to dig deep to reach the podium at this stage.  She steadies….leans back with her arms…and the hammer sails high in the air…it’s definitely got potential ladies and gentlemen…I’ll have to wait to see where they mark it.  368 metres!  Ohhh, so very close.  A great throw, but not far enough to challenge The Kurenai’s 376 metres, your current bronze mark.

Another dwarf looks ready to challenge the leaderboard, my notes tell me he is from the Argent Crusade.  Let me just take a moment to thank all those fine folks for their efforts in Northrend.  They did a fine service to the people of Azeroth, Alliance and Horde alike.  Let’s see if this fellow can deliver in the same manner now…and he got a great throw there.  Really seemed to let loose from the back foot.  He’s definitely in the running, was it enough?  370 metres according to the judge.  That was a close effort, and this dwarf definitely left it all out there with that toss.

The League of Arathor is next, as we settle down to the final three entries in today’s competition.  He taps the hammer against each boot for luck and releases a strong overhead throw…looks like he might’ve snapped it a bit there.  It comes down hard and 336 says Logard.  I’ll say it once more, that’s still an effort to be incredibly proud of.

Our next competitor is here on behalf of the Sha’tar.  Our first male orc this afternoon looks to be all business as he picks up the hammer and makes his way to the line.  He takes a couple of steps back before charging forward and releasing a solid toss.  It’s one of the better tosses this afternoon…is it enough?  The judge says 382 metres!  That’s good enough for second place with just a single competitor left.  That means the Sha’tar and Undercity are guaranteed a spot on the podium!

Our final athlete this afternoon is here for the Earthen Ring.  He is also the only thing between a fellow Blood Elf and the Bronze Medal.  386 metres is the mark to beat for gold, 377 for bronze.  He flashes the crowd a smile before letting loose a powerful throw!  It could be close!  He’s got some distance here -oh, looks like it tailed off a bit early.  Let’s see what the judge has to say.  361 metres says Logard.  Not quite enough on this day.

The Darkspear Trolls are celebrating their Bronze Medal, while The Sha’tar are looking at Silver and it’s Undercity who are…moaning?…the loudest?  Hardest?  The Undead have won the gold!


There you have it folks!  This year’s Hammer Throw is in the books and three more factions are enjoying their first moments on the podium.  Thank you for joining me and I hope you’re clapping hard for today’s winners and all of the athletes who took part today.  Each and every one of them sure gave it their all out there!  Goodbye from Ratchet!

30 thoughts on “Mogolympics – Hammer Throw Live!

  1. kamaliaetalia August 16, 2012 / 11:59 pm

    Another amazing array of outfits! I loved the commentary, too.

    I find it intriguing, though, that the three medalists all used elements of Paladin T12 (or lookalikes thereof) in their sets.

    • JD Kenada August 17, 2012 / 7:16 am

      I honestly hadn’t noticed that. What surprises me is how much we judges vary in view. It’s why I’m glad there isn’t just one judge because the results are completely different with more input (as it should be of course).

    • Anoukisse August 17, 2012 / 9:10 am

      It’s true, Paladin stuff fit this outfit perfectly! But at the same time, it’s hard to put a mace into an outfit without thinking “Paladin”.

      In parallel, every time I see an outfit worn by a female Tauren, I think: Kamalia made this. Lol. 😉

  2. Cymre August 17, 2012 / 12:19 am

    Wow, nice. No wonder you went to bed after this 😛

    • JD Kenada August 17, 2012 / 7:16 am


  3. dragonray August 17, 2012 / 1:21 am

    OMG HAHAHA, I can’t stop laughing hysterically!! Best commentary ever 🙂 Grats to the winners again, they are fantastic outfits!!

    • JD Kenada August 17, 2012 / 7:17 am

      Thanks Dragonray.

      All the outfits were great. I think this was the hardest event of the first three for me to score.

  4. prettyflydraenei August 17, 2012 / 1:27 am

    Wow, your commentary is as awesome as the outfits! Grats everyone, it just keeps getting better 🙂

    • JD Kenada August 17, 2012 / 7:18 am

      It has to be! I certainly want to do any injustice to the competitors!

  5. Navimie August 17, 2012 / 2:47 am

    Wow the commentary is FANTASTIC! I love it, and I love how we all got a score so we can see how well we did 🙂 Grats to all the winners!

    • JD Kenada August 17, 2012 / 7:19 am

      Yeah, not to hard to figure out where I got those scores from, right? What scares me is that a perfect score would’ve been “400.” There were a LOT of high scores in this event.

  6. tomeoftheancient August 17, 2012 / 6:15 am

    That was so exciting! What a competition! Wait! I thought I saw Johnny Awesome, was that Johnny Awesome? Oh, sorry it’s a competitor. That was fantastic, the coverage and the competitors! Grats to all!

    • JD Kenada August 17, 2012 / 7:20 am

      You know what’s sad? I read Johnny Awesome but my brain read Johnny BRAVO. Lol.

  7. Freyana August 17, 2012 / 6:40 am

    Grats everyone! Another round of awesome ‘mogs!

  8. Ninevi August 17, 2012 / 6:41 am

    Wow, amazing commentary!!! 😀 Grats to everybody and good work!!

  9. euphyley August 17, 2012 / 8:24 am

    Holy moly some of those mogs were absolutely fantastic! I loved the commentary, I read it with my morning coffee and I really felt like I was reading a sporting event. Great idea! 😀

    • JD Kenada August 17, 2012 / 8:26 am

      Thanks and congrats on Gold! I’ll be sending you your medal later today. 🙂

  10. Anoukisse August 17, 2012 / 9:14 am

    Congrats to the winners! The outfits were spectacular, I don’t know how the judges manages to score these. Most of them were just awesome! Hats off to the judges for having managed to retain their sanity during the judging period!

    JD–I didn’t think I could enjoy a different approach to the display of all entries as much as I enjoyed your slideshow. But the commentary, the line-up at Booty Bay, etc, I couldn’t believe the energy you put into it. Makes me feel special to be participating, like, we all mean something, and that’s fantastic! Thanks so much!

    • JD Kenada August 17, 2012 / 10:26 am

      Thanks for the kind words, and I’m really glad you enjoyed it. I’m glad your efforts feel appreciated and that you reciprocate that with my own. Besides, we can’t let our own efforts slack in light of such strong work by the part of the entries!

  11. Miriarose August 17, 2012 / 9:35 am

    Hahaha – so close, and yet so far! The commentary was hilarious – so much cross-faction representation on the Alliance and Horde side. I see some people’s faction bias, and I’m guilty of it too!

    Every outfit looks spectacular and I do NOT envy your judges. I’m having so much fun with this. Keep up the great work 🙂

    • JD Kenada August 17, 2012 / 10:39 am

      My wife asked me why so much Gnome hate and I pointed out because there was only one in the whole event (to say nothing of Goblins and Forsaken missing entirely). Besides, Elcombe is like the “Banky Edwards” of the blog. So many foolish comments come out of his mouth, you just know he’s wrong. LOL

  12. khizzara August 17, 2012 / 12:34 pm

    The Undercity representative is a Troll, but you called her an Orc twice in the commentary! XD Silly JD.

    Amazing entries from everyone, and congratulations to our three medalists! 😀

    • JD Kenada August 17, 2012 / 1:29 pm

      Elcombe Burgundy was heavily into the Kungaloosh prior to the start of the event.

  13. corhi August 17, 2012 / 4:04 pm

    Hot dog but that’s a tough field. Congrats to the medalists, well-deserved wins.

    (Loved the reporting, too–I think Elcombe may need to put the mug down a little earlier coming into the next event. *wink*)

    • JD Kenada August 17, 2012 / 5:40 pm

      Fortunately he’s not covering the next event. lol

  14. Chatmay August 17, 2012 / 4:13 pm

    Just checking but after you have posted the categories on here, we can post the picture from that category on our blog right?

    • JD Kenada August 17, 2012 / 5:40 pm

      Absolutely. 🙂

  15. Darkfa1th August 18, 2012 / 3:43 am

    really looking forward to whats next i didn’t expect commentary like enjoyed it so much more

    • JD Kenada August 18, 2012 / 5:04 am

      Thanks so much. Us judges have to keep things fresh as well, you know. 🙂

  16. Pando August 18, 2012 / 12:27 pm

    Amazing post! Lots of fun 🙂
    Gratz to all the winners!

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