Thankful And Other Thoughts

The success of this blog stems from this time last year, when I took part in the Blog Azeroth Thanksgiving event put on by AmerPriest.  I even finished second in said contest, and have been humbled ever since.  I signed up for it again this year (the event, as I don’t believe there was a contest) but my mind was blank on what to write.  I knew something I was planning on doing, but I sure couldn’t write about that because it would spoil everything.  So I kind of played dumb when people asked about it, and the Thanksgiving event came and went. 

Remember when I posted about wanting to earn a fair amount of gold by Winter Veil?  No one ever asked me what it was for.  Actually, Magik did and I dodged the question rather well.  But other than that, people supported my effort but never questioned why I was trying to hoard it.  Well, try I did.  However, in six weeks or so I made less than 30 thousand gold.  So I knew I was never going to achieve my goal.  I was dejected, but was going to make the most of it anyway. 

So I’ve quietly gone about my business, nickel and diming wherever I could.  I acquired most of the things I needed in anticipation of Winter Veil when I would execute my plan.  Well, with all the talk of Thanksgiving this week, and some things I will get to in a moment, I began thinking about moving up said plan.  Low and behold yesterday came.  I looked at my Friends List prior to the Laid Back Raid and there were seven of the eight people on that I needed to talk to.  The only one missing was Healblade and while I knew he was coming to raid, I still e-mailed him and ninja’d my wife’s Facebook to message him there as well.  Fortunately as I was rounding up the others, he made it on.

First I had to get Navimie, Helke, Repgrind, and Tome to roll toons on Runetotem.  Then I had to say no DK’s, Worgen, or Pandas.  I needed something that didn’t have to sludge through a start zone considering I gave them zero notice.  They all obliged, and as we started to come together there were many questions I refused to answer.  Instead I had the Mages take everyone to Ironforge while I zipped to Shattrath quickly (because what I wanted wasn’t closer!).  I circled back and picked up Repgrind and we arrived at Bruuk’s Corner.  This is a significant location as it’s where I used to hold our guild Winter Veil parties. 

With everyone gathered, I began handing out a present to each one.  Once I was certain everyone had their gift, I allowed them to open them.  Now before I get to the what (and someone of you will know from reading other blogs), let me get to the why.  I hold friendship in very high regard.  Each of these people, and more, are incredibly important to me for their own reasons and it comes down to being who they are.  So, it was a short time after Mists launched that I got the idea to give my friends each a Jewelcrafted Panther Mount for Christmas/Winter Veil.

As I said, I decided to bump up the timeline.  Arv was supposed to be one of the recipients, but I found out he snagged them all at some point, and as such I was able to move on to another person.  That’s good because I was disappointed I couldn’t make one for each person that I wanted to.  Jai, Matty, Shoryl, and more were all people I really wanted to give this gift to and I couldn’t make it happen.  Yes, it disappoints me.  I could have pulled it off, but I refused to accept someone’s offer of gold (or buy it online) because I wanted to earn each of these my way.  It was more rewarding, but in the end I didn’t get to give to everyone. 

As it was, talking to a Jewelcrafter and saying I had the money and mats for eight panthers was enough to floor someone.  Heck, they thought with all those materials that I wanted the Black one.  Thank god there was no red stack of gems or my plan would have been foiled (I had them made 20 minutes before I rounded everyone up).  But everything did work out just fine in the end.  I would have liked to have celebrated with everyone for far longer, but there was a Laid Back Raid scheduled that some of us had to get to.

Firelands was interesting.  It didn’t occur to me the zone would look very much like it did amidst all those bloody dailies.  I’m also glad for the folks that came along, because I never would have known where to go.  We had a few wipes, but we pressed on.  It was nice to have content that had its challenges, but we perservered in such a casual manner.  I again have to thank Arv and others who provided great leadership with each fight.  Alas, we were not entirely successful on this night.  Despite many efforts, we were bested by Ragnaros himself.  The mechanics of that fight are still pretty tough.  But he can rest assured we will be back. 

I had dying down to an art form.

I had a great time in there, but the truth is…I didn’t want to go in the first place.  It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go to Firelands, I didn’t want to do LBR or really even be on WoW.  I haven’t for some time.  I kind of just go through the motions off and on.  Up until now, very few people knew that I am suffering from serious depression at best, more likely it’s bipolar.  Don’t know for sure, because I’ve not yet had the referral processed for proper analysis (long wait around these parts).  But needless to say, it has diminished my interest in a number of things and one of those is WoW.  For a long time I’ve been logging on just to get those panthers made.  Add in my video display issues when I have been wanting to play, and my time has been slim. 

Christmas is coming.  That’s a busy time for me, and I will also be sending my laptop away for repair at some point.  Combined with my mindswings and it’s hard to say when I’ll want to be on or what I will want to do.  I like LBR runs, because all of the people involved are great to be around and do cheer me up.  At the same time I have to recognize there will be a period where I’ll simply be offline and not able to run them.  Whether someone else is able to take over in my absence or not will be determined before I take off.  But I will be taking what I’m terming a sporadical.  It’s not a full sabbatical but my appearances will be much more, well, sporadic. 

I also recognize with the holidays coming, it would have been harder to get all those people together as I was able to in that instant last night.  It was important to me to be able to have them all together at the same time, because that’s just how I am.  I know there was some concern I was doing it because it was my swan song, and in some ways this post might suggest that, but that’s not the case and nor was it the plan.  These mounts were always meant to be a Christmas gift to great people.  Nothing more, nothing less. 

I’ve just had a lot going on mentally as of late and that’s becoming a focus for me because it’s gotten worse in the last month and in ways I’m becoming much more concerned about it.  I’m taking the appropriate actions of course, with counselling and meds and a strong network of support.  So that’s why I moved up the date, why you haven’t necessarily seen me online as often, and most certainly why I haven’t been posting or commenting nearly as much.  I just haven’t had it in me, and when my laptop goes on repair vacation it will be even more so.

To those I gave the cats to, I’m going to reiterate just how important each of you are to me and how awesome you’ve been just being you and this is a small way for me to say thank you.  To others, I wish I could have fully shared that thanks.  But if you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’re one of those people and I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart.

~Jayson

25 thoughts on “Thankful And Other Thoughts

  1. mataokashaman November 26, 2012 / 8:54 pm

    That was really awesome JD! Lucky friends indeed!

    • JD Kenada November 26, 2012 / 11:26 pm

      Like I said, wish I had the gold for a couple more. 😉

  2. Cymre November 26, 2012 / 10:31 pm

    I can certainly understand that we all need to take some time for ourselves away from the game. I wish you all the best in the meantime but I know I’ll catch you at some stage whether it be on the blog or not. Just know that even though I wasn’t able to make a lot of the LBRs, your time and effort was appreciated. 🙂

    • JD Kenada November 26, 2012 / 11:26 pm

      Thanks Cymre. As I said, I’ll still be doing them for the next couple of weeks yet, as I’ve scheduled them already and do still enjoy them. It’s mostly anything over and above that where folks probably won’t be seeing me online as much.

  3. Shawndra November 27, 2012 / 12:01 am

    I’ll have to make a point of making all your LBR’s for the next short time then! You’re a great guy, JD. I’ll continue lurking and praying for the best for you and yours. (Delgadita)

    • JD Kenada November 27, 2012 / 7:58 am

      Aw. Colour me humbled.

      And it’s always great having you along!

  4. kamaliaetalia November 27, 2012 / 12:02 am

    JD, your generosity amazes and humbles me. I am fortunate to know you.

    I’m glad that you’re taking steps to get help, and I wish you all the best. I’ll miss seeing you around — but taking care of yourself and your family should always come first.

    • JD Kenada November 27, 2012 / 8:00 am

      Hopefully my laptop isn’t gone for too long when the time comes. What I may do is set up LBR’s using the Mrs. laptop, and then log off so she can go. At least then things can continue relatively normally. 😀

      Thanks for the kind words Kamalia.

  5. Navimie November 27, 2012 / 6:12 am

    Reading your post, with its mixture of sadness and happiness, makes me humbled that maybe in some small part, I helped on the way to recovery with the problem you have been struggling with. You are in my thoughts, and in a good, non sleazy way 🙂 /grin
    And *little voice* squeeeeeeeee!

    • JD Kenada November 27, 2012 / 8:01 am

      So did you start leveling or did you server transfer? LOL.

      Thanks for the kind words Navi, and you most certainly did.

      …and for the record, sleazy thoughts of me are ok too. 😀

  6. tomeoftheancient November 27, 2012 / 7:22 am

    I did wonder about the 300,000 gold but thought maybe it was a surprise you wanted to reveal in a post, wow, was it ever! I hope you get your health problems sorted out soon. I am familiar with depression and it just sucks big time … I’d better stop before I start yelling eff you depression on your blog.

    Cat of course saw the screen shots and started asking questions about Elcombe cause she thought he was “dreamy” and I had to tell her stay where she is, there is a Missus that will kick your butt if you go looking for Elcombe, silly Cat, ouch! The Claws of Danea!

    Liwu is waving from Westfall and sends love!

    • JD Kenada November 27, 2012 / 8:03 am

      Elcombe’s a single man. Alas, he’s always had a thing for Jaina.

      I’m hoping to be online at some point so the Claws folk can welcome Liwu! If not, just whisper a member and I’m sure it’ll be someone who can invite her. 😀

    • Carla Doak November 27, 2012 / 12:30 pm

      It’s okay – Danae is taken. Liouxpold is her man 😀 Elcombe’s all yers, Cat!

      • tomeoftheancient November 27, 2012 / 1:40 pm

        Oh no! Cat gets the go ahead when he only has eyes for Jaina, what rotten luck!

        • JD Kenada November 27, 2012 / 3:12 pm

          I hear once you go Cat, you never go back. She should try to persuade him just the same.

      • JD Kenada November 27, 2012 / 3:11 pm

        Does Tae know that Danae is chasing that Hunter?

  7. arvash29 November 27, 2012 / 8:26 am

    Firelands was fun, even though I have good and bad memories of that place, lol. I was shaking my head and laughing as we were one-shotting bosses that used to take SR so many attempts to down when it was current. I’m glad I came though, with some nudging from Rep and Navi, so that others who hadn’t been there before could experience and enjoy it. And we came so close to getting Rags down, maybe next time. =)

    Thanks for the Panther offer, my friend, now I wished I had held off from making Voltron not too long ago…you could have been one of my arms or legs, lol. But I’m glad you were able to give it to another one of your peeps!

    I hope you feel better soon, i know we’d like to see you online more often. =)

    • JD Kenada November 27, 2012 / 3:07 pm

      Thanks for all the kind words Arv. Yeah, hence why I couldn’t roll a toon on your server. 😉

      We definitely couldn’t have done Firelands as well without you. Always nice to have you along.

      Thanks again for the kind words.

  8. Ishtla November 27, 2012 / 9:27 am

    Thank you again for this wonderful gift; though for me the real gift has been getting to know you, Mrs Amateur and all the people who make LBRs such fun.
    I hope things get better for you and your health and family are definitely much more important than the game. Still I’ll miss seeing you on, but will still be here when you return.

    • JD Kenada November 27, 2012 / 3:08 pm

      It was my pleasure. Thank you for the support and kind words as well. 🙂

  9. prettyflydraenei November 27, 2012 / 4:33 pm

    JD, you are a brighter gem than all the ones socketed in those mounts combined 😀

    • JD Kenada November 27, 2012 / 8:25 pm

      I’m too humbled to even come up with something to say back…

  10. Cain November 28, 2012 / 11:36 am

    It is wonderful seeing that this type of people still exist in game. I enjoyed reading about this on many different blogs today.

    • JD Kenada November 28, 2012 / 1:18 pm

      Thank you.

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